Max Cory Johnson

Max arrived on August 21, 2011, at 1:58 p.m. He weighed 5 lbs 15 oz and was 19 1/2 inches long. Not too shabby for being exactly three weeks early.

I'm not sure why this turned out blurry but it's probably best that you can't really see how fat I am. We had to be at the hospital at 7:30 a.m. to be induced. I cried the whole way to the hospital. And through the admission process. And while they started hooking me up to all of the equipment. I really didn't want to have a baby that day. I wanted three more weeks (or better yet, five more years).

Dr. Langer prepared us for the long haul. She said that it would likely take 9-12 hours since this was my first baby. So we settled in with a movie and tried to relax. They had to increase the pitocin drip several times before anything really started to happen. I had only had about 10 contractions that I thought were mildly severe (maybe a 5 on a scale of 1-10) when the nurse came in and told me that if I didn't have the epidural now, I wouldn't be able to get it for another hour because the anesthesiologist was going into a C-section and would be tied up with that. I really didn't want the epidural at that point but didn't want to chance it so I went ahead and got it. The nurse checked me before the anesthesiologist started and I was dilated to a three. She checked me after he was finished and I was dilated to a seven. And about 15 minutes later, we started to push. Thank goodness I got the epidural when I did!!!

I'm not sure what I was expecting but pushing was more intense than I thought it would be. Max's heart rate kept dropping so we had to stop and let him stabilize before continuing. I later found out that the cord was wrapped around his neck twice, which is what was causing the problem. Thank goodness they didn't tell me that at the time! I pushed for about 40 minutes and then, voila, the doctor placed a screaming (rather blue) baby on my belly. We had been in labor for six hours. What a surreal moment. It probably wasn't until we left the hospital that I fully realized that we were going home with a baby. Everything was just a blur up until that point. He sure is a handsome little guy and we have loved having him in our home.
Shortly after delivery.First family photo.
Daddy got Max all strapped into the car seat to go home. I was so happy to leave that hospital! One of my friends told me that she loves being in the hospital because the nurses take care of everything and she feels like she is on vacation. What a joke! That hospital room door brought a constant barrage of people who wanted to pick at me or Max. I had to go home so that I could take a decent nap.
First ride in Daddy's truck.
And speaking of trucks, my brother and SIL sent us this darling flower arrangement. Cory, my dad and my brother all have black Ford pick-up trucks. So the card on this arrangement said, "we didn't want Max to be the only boy in the family who didn't have his own Ford truck." So cute!
This kid is a rock star when it comes to sleeping. We usually have to wake him up to eat. And after he's finished eating, he just hangs out and looks around. For a few nights, he kept me up all night and I couldn't figure out what was wrong. I knew he had a full belly and dry diaper but he would scream when I tried to put him in the bassinet. He would sleep like a champ in his swing, though. It took me a while but I finally figured out that he probably has a little bit of acid reflux and being propped up helps to keep his tummy settled. So we elevated the head of his bassinet and he slept great last night. Good grief! Let's hope the learning curve isn't that steep with everything or we are going to have "the stupidest parents ever" plastered to our foreheads.
Jared and Camille came to visit and wanted to see the bear rug. And since we had it out, Cory decided Max needed to try it out. The only regret: Max wasn't wearing camo at the time. You should see this kid's wardrobe. He has enough camo to last him a lifetime!
After the first bath. Which he hated. Typical boy.
Houdini ain't got nothin' on this kid. He can get out of a swaddle so fast! Another learning curve for the rookie parents. Max likes to have his hands out. Duly noted (after another round of screaming and parents who looked on with puzzled faces).

Ready Or Not!

After two weeks of bed rest (which I didn't really do a very good job of), I went back to the doctor and there was no change in my cervix. He took me off bed rest just in time to allow me to go to Bear Lake with both the Johnson and Hollingsworth families. Both families wanted to have a family outing this year, both families wanted to go to Bear Lake and both families wanted to go on the same weekend. So we smooshed it all together and had a great time! I was so relieved to be able to go. I felt like I hadn't had any fun all summer and I desperately needed a get-away. If at all possible, I don't think we'll be doing another summer pregnancy. If I've got to be cooped up inside, it might as well be during the winter when you can't do anything here anyway.

The big kids are making a sand castle.

Gracie and Cory testing out the water.

Putting the finishing touches on the mermaid tail.

The Johnson girls made the trek down to Salt Lake to throw me a baby shower. It was so nice of them all to come down here to me! We watched "The Help", had great Thai food and Baby J got spoiled rotten. Thank you so much!!

I had a doctor's appointment on Wednesday and I knew my doctor wasn't going to be happy with my blood pressure. I've been taking blood pressure medicine since we were 20 weeks along. No signs of preeclampsia - just high blood pressure. I've been checking my blood pressure every night before going to bed and since last Wednesday, the readings have been climbing. I told Cory that it wouldn't surprise me if Dr. Langer sent us straight to L&D after our appointment on Wednesday. We even had our bags packed and everything. I ran like a mad woman on Wednesday morning trying to finish stuff at work, get several loads of laundry done, etc. By the time I got to the doctor's office, my blood pressure was 158/110.

Dr. Langer sent us down to the ultrasound tech to do a growth check. They think Baby J weighs 6 lbs. 14 oz and my fluid levels look good. The doctor said he could stay in there for a few more days until we officially reach full term. We are 37 weeks tomorrow and we are scheduled to be induced at 7:30 a.m.

Wow! The past three days have been a whirlwind. We've crammed what we should have done in three weeks into three days. Surprisingly, my blood pressure has dropped over the past three days. I must confess that it wouldn't hurt my feelings if they sent us home tomorrow and we didn't have to deliver. I've been slamming on the brakes harder and harder the closer we get to the delivery date. I'm not sure if I want kids after all. I'm still at the point where I'm saying, "it would be nice to have kids someday." I'm not sure if I'm ready to give up my life starting tomorrow.

Cory made a very nice dinner reservation last night and I almost cried thinking this is the last time we'll be able to do this without having to worry about a baby sitter and the house burning down while we're gone. I ran some errands today and cranked up my music. Might as well enjoy that for the last time, too. I really hope it's worth it. I really hope that when parents say, "it's the best thing you'll ever do," that that's not just some standard rhetoric that they tell themselves in order to get through the daily grind. I hope I bond with this baby. I hope it truly is a magical moment to hear him cry for the first time. I hope we don't suck as parents. Let's hope we don't screw you up too badly, kiddo. See you tomorrow!

Keep Cookin' Baby J!

We've reached the 33-week mark. Hooray! Only seven more weeks to go…and it actually might be closer to four weeks. I've been going in for ultrasounds every two weeks so the docs can monitor my cervix length. At my appointment on Wednesday, my cervix had gone from 1.8 cm at the last appt down to 1 cm. But there's no signs of funneling or dilation. So I'm officially on modified bed rest for the next two weeks. They are hoping that my cervix will lengthen back out if I take some of the pressure off of it. What a pain! I can be up on my feet for 2-3 hours / day and thankfully the doctor gave me permission to prop myself up in bed and keep working. I am nowhere near ready to leave work for maternity leave. I just barely started training my team 1 1/2 weeks ago! Good thing no one at work can tell the difference between me sitting at my desk and me sitting in bed.

Physically, this pregnancy has been a breeze. Which is why, I suspect, I've landed myself on bed rest. I have a two-page to-do list and tons of energy to keep plowing through it. And that's exactly what I've been doing. Mentally - I'm done with this pregnancy. I'm tired of worrying about every little twitch and glitch that happens to my body on a daily basis and wondering if this is the moment when I'll go into labor. The specialist that I'm seeing wasn't worried enough to give me a steroid shot for Baby J's lung development. He thinks I'll keep carrying him for approximately four more weeks. And ever since my 20-week appointment when they first noticed the shorter cervix length, I've had it in my head that we would be delivering around three weeks early (no idea why). So here's to hoping that my intuition and the doctor's prediction are both wrong and that this kid stays in there until 40 weeks. Baby J currently weighs 4 lbs 5 oz and is very healthy and strong.

In addition to me going crazy, we may need to have this kid sooner rather than later if we want any of our dishes or other valuables to survive. I really thought that getting clumsy towards the end of pregnancy was just an old wives tale because I seemed to be doing fine. Not so much anymore. So far, we are down three (of my favorite) bowls, two glasses and one container of powder foundation. The foundation spill was probably the best. I've taken to carrying a box fan with me everywhere I go (in addition to blasting the AC). The fan is especially useful when getting ready in the morning. It helps prevent melting when I'm blow-drying my hair or trying to put on my make-up. When I dropped the foundation container, not only did it spill everywhere on the floor, but the fan also spread the powder all over me and the rest of the bathroom. Awesome.

Apparently I still look "cool". Two weeks ago I went to Wal-Mart to pick up a few things. This kid ran up to me just as I walked in the door and said, "Hey you look cool (at which point I glanced down at my belly and thought, really, I look cool??). Will you buy me some alcohol?" What on earth?? It took me a minute to process and then I just busted up laughing. No, I will not buy you any alcohol. Sheesh.

Cory and I have been attending some birthing classes. We've taken two and still have two more to go. We watched the infamous birthing video in the first class. Honestly, it wasn't as bad as I remember it being when I watched it 20 years ago in 8th grade health class. But my poor husband…Cory was certain he was going to throw-up. And I couldn't help thinking, really, you can skin a bear but you can't watch a birthing video??? I do not understand. I've already warned my doctor that she may have two patients in L&D if Cory goes down. She just laughed and said that they are used to watching the husbands pretty closely (if not discretely) during delivery. It's good to know that they'll keep an eye on him so that I can focus on the task at hand.

And speaking of the task at hand, it's definitely starting to become much more clear that there is no good way to get out this pregnancy. I've decided that I don't want to go through L&D. Surely someone can come up with something better during the next four weeks??? Or even better…Baby J can just stay in there forever more and we'll call it good!

Baby Shower

I attended my "very first, real life, baby shower today". At least that's what Cory called it. This whole baby thing is starting to feel a little more real now. And I realize that it's probably a little early to be having a baby shower but it's virtually impossible to schedule anything with the Hollingsworth side of my family in the months of July and August. We couldn't even make it to the end of June because everyone's schedules were getting filled up.

My sister-in-law, Karen, made these adorable invitations. Don't mind the strips of paper - I'm just trying to protect the innocent.

My cousin, Courtney, was kind enough to host everyone at her house (she has a fabulous backyard!) The decorations were super cute and the food was amazing!
My mom made this fun diaper cake.

Ilene and Grammie are pictured here. Ilene made some darling receiving blankets and burp rags for Baby J. She is so talented!
Morgan, Britney, Bristol and Aunt Clarice.
Baby J definitely got spoiled. Thank you everyone!!
Karen, Paisley and Beth.
Thanks for sharing your beautiful home and backyard with us, Court!

Gunns and Guns

Time really needs to slow down! First, I'd like to give a special shout-out to my sister-in-law, Ashlee, and her new husband. Mr. and Mrs. Zack Gunn got married in St. George on May 21st. It was such a beautiful wedding and we couldn't be happier for the new couple. And good news for the pregnant chick who tends to overheat quite easily - it was unusually cool in St. George and the temp on the wedding day was only in the low 80's. Hooray!

Baby J is getting big. We are just finishing up week 25 now. He weighs 1 lb 15 oz and is 12 inches long.

These are some pictures from the ultrasound at 21 weeks. Talk about guns on this kid! The ultrasound tech couldn't believe the "muscle tone" he already has. Baby J definitely has the Johnson arms.

Profile pic
Clearly we were keeping him awake. Big yawn!
Cute legs and feet.
Eyes wide open.
We've had a few adventures since week 21. During the ultrasound, the tech measured my cervix and said it was a little shorter than they would like to see (2.75 cm and it should be no shorter than 3 cm). Of course, I immediately started thinking about what an incompetent cervix could potentially mean. Early delivery, weeks in the NICU, delayed development and growth, medical issues, bed rest for me, possibly having to stitch my cervix up to keep the kid in there, we're not even close to being ready for this baby yet and I'm not even close to being ready to go out on maternity leave at work and on and on and on.

As you might imagine, by the time I got to the doctor, my blood pressure was through the roof! They measured my blood pressure a couple of times during the appointment and it remained stubbornly high. My doctor didn't want to take any chances so they said they were going to test me for preeclampsia. Scary!!! They sent me home with a jug to collect urine for 24 hours and told me to come back in two days for additional blood tests, etc. I went back on Wednesday with my jug-o-urine and they took several samples of blood. Thankfully my doctor rushed the test results and we knew by that afternoon that I wasn't even close to being in danger of having preeclampsia. I think your readings have to be around 500 (don't ask me 500 of what??) and mine were only at 245. But my blood pressure still wasn't back to normal so my doctor put me on blood pressure medication.

During this entire time, I tried to calm myself down but it seemed like the harder I tried, the faster my heart would beat. I really think it was self-induced hypertension. I tend to worry A LOT and this just sent me over the edge. Honestly, the entire pregnancy is such an unknown risk. Everything is out of your control and you just have to sit back and trust that your body is going to do what it's supposed to and work hard to keep this baby safe and sound.

I've been back every two weeks so that my doctor can continue to monitor my cervix. It's gone from 2.75 to 2.5 and then back up to 2.83 cm. And while I'm thankful for good medical care, I wish that we could just make a decision (do I have a problem or not?) and be done with it. But with a first pregnancy, you just don't know what's normal for your body. Maybe this is normal for me. My doctor said that with one of her last patients that had this issue, her cervix was at 1 cm for the last 20 weeks of her pregnancy and she carried the baby until 41 weeks. I really love my doctor - she is super calm about everything and has a way about her that makes me super calm (relatively speaking) as well. And thankfully she hasn't freaked out about any of this and put me on bed rest. In fact, I don't have any restrictions except for no crazy jumping up and down. Check.

The one good thing about all of this monitoring - we've been able to have an ultrasound every two weeks vs. just the standard two ultrasounds that you normally get during a pregnancy. It's been fun to watch Baby J grow. He had the hiccups during my appointment last Wednesday. So cute!

And remember that measles scare??? I elected to have some additional blood work done and it turns out that I am immune to measles. I'm just not immune to mumps. Guess we just needed a 4-week vacay from church (and life in general).

Quarantine

I've been under quarantine for the past two weeks and there is no end in sight. Why, you may ask? Answer: a recent measles outbreak in SLC. My first doctor's appointment was at nine weeks and we had the routine blood test done at that time. The test results showed that I am no longer immune to the measles. I had the vaccine as a child but apparently it either didn't take or it has worn off over time. I really had no idea this was even possible or I would have been tested prior to getting pregnant. In any event, I brushed it off because I said to myself, "It's the measles. They've practically been eradicated in the States. I don't have anything to worry about." Fast forward to two weeks ago when we started to hear reports on the news about three high school students that had contracted the measles. I believe we are now up to nine cases. And each new confirmed case puts my quarantine period out by two weeks. That's because the measles has an incubation period of two weeks i.e. someone may appear to be perfectly fine for two weeks after being exposed and they are really a walking hazard to me. I can't get the vaccine again until after I deliver the baby. I've been told that at this point, I'm far enough along that if I did get the measles it wouldn't necessarily cause birth defects. But it could result in a miscarriage, still-birth or any number of other problems that I don't even want to think about.

What does all this mean? It means that I can't go to the gym or church or anywhere else where large groups of people will be around me in tight quarters. If I must go out to the grocery store or anywhere else, I should wear a mask. My hands are raw from washing them so often. I definitely feel like a freak show. The kids are the best. They aren't shy about pointing to the crazy lady (a.k.a. me) and asking their moms why I'm wearing a mask. The standard answer I hear: "It's because she's sick and doesn't want to get anyone else sick." No!! It's because I don't want you people to get me sick. Sheesh! But to be fair, I'd probably think the same thing if I was in their shoes. And so we wait. And wait. And wait for news about the next confirmed case. Thank goodness I don't have to go anywhere to get to work. And Cory is properly fumigated when he comes home every day...

And speaking of feeling like a freak show, because of the measles outbreak, I've finally had to break down and start telling people that we are expecting a baby. I had to explain it to some people at church and of course, I've had to explain it to the people who have been nosy enough to ask why I'm wearing a mask. And I must say that I am absolutely appalled by the standard reaction that I get. The first thing (and I mean the VERY first thing) people do is look at my stomach to check out the baby bump. Have I ever done that to someone?? I'm sure I have and I'm totally embarrassed. I will certainly make a concerted effort not to do it again. Maintain eye contact, people!!! If you must check out the baby bump, do it when I'm not looking. It's bad enough that you feel frumpy and fat for nine months but it's quite another thing to have everyone else fixated on your fatness too. Oh well. Have I mentioned that I'm a walking freak show??

The current dilemma for baby purchases is the crib (and other bedroom furniture). I went into Babies 'R Us two weeks ago to start browsing. After spending an hour looking at furniture, bedding and glider rockers, my brain was fried. I half-heartedly walked through the clothing section as I left the store but I ended up not buying anything. My head hurt too bad to think about what size of clothes I needed to buy for when Baby J is going to be X months old (i.e. long sleeve shirts or short sleeve, and how do you really know because he might be a super chunky baby and not fit into any of those 6-12 month clothes that I want to buy for next summer).

That same afternoon, Cory went to Cabela's. And brought home this:

Daddy purchased Baby J's first item of clothing. And it just so happens to be a fleece, camo snow suit. Cory says it's for bear hunting. Looks pretty warm and snuggly to me.

Baby J

I'd like to announce the impending arrival of Baby J! He's due to arrive on September 11th. That's right - it's definitely a "he". I was so worried that this kid wouldn't cooperate with the ultrasound tech but we got a good view between the legs. You can see his cute bum, the legs coming out and all the right parts in the middle. :-) I drank a big glass of orange juice and ate some sugary Easter candy before the ultrasound just to make sure the kid was awake and moving in there.

So here's the story. Cory and I knew that we wanted to wait for at least a year after we got married before we even thought about kids. Before we knew it, 1 1/2 years had gone by and we realized that we weren't getting any younger. And wouldn't you know it - at that exact time, Cory lost his job. So our world stood still for several months while we decided which direction life would be taking us next. Once Cory got a job offer, we started trying to conceive. It only took two months. I was shocked. Everything in life seems like such a hurdle - nothing comes easy. I really thought we'd have to try to conceive for at least a year, then see multiple fertility specialists, go through three rounds of in-vitro and maybe, just maybe, we might get a baby after that. But no...only two months (and I really shouldn't count the first month since I was living in Idaho and Cory was already in Utah). Apparently this little one was in a hurry to get here. He's probably ready to knock us over the head for waiting so long!

But here's the thing...I've never (read: not even once) looked at another person's baby and said, "I want one of those" (which is probably why I'm 33 years old and having my first child). I have, however, looked at another person's four-year-old and said, "I want one of those." I wondered if I should feel guilty about that. Does that mean I'll be a bad mom? BTW - I still can't believe some crazy doctor is going to let us out of the hospital with an infant. *Ahem* But I've talked to several of my friends and they said they just had to suck it up and make it through the infant years and they are thoroughly enjoying their kids now. And others have told me that they enjoyed the infant stages much more than they thought they would. Let's hope I fall into that category.

As far as I'm concerned, this pregnancy has been a breeze. I haven't been sick at all, no significant body changes yet, no odor sensitivities, no major food aversions or cravings, etc. I was a little tired for the first eight weeks but I've got my energy back now. Don't get me wrong - I wouldn't want to change anything and have my head over a toilet bowl for the past three months but I will say that the utter lack of any symptoms does occasionally have me worried. I wonder if everything is still okay in there (I can't very well ask the kid and I can't feel him moving yet to confirm). I wonder if there's been a missed miscarriage. I suspect that this is only the beginning of my worrying for Baby J.

Many people have told me that they woke up one morning and couldn't fit into their regular clothes. I still don't understand how you can just "pop" like that overnight but I took them at their word and figured I'd better start shopping for some maternity clothes in the event this happened to me. I must confess that I cried all the way home after going shopping that first day. I could only bring myself to buy one pair of capris. I have read on these message boards about women who are excited to go shopping for, and start wearing, their maternity clothes. What?!?! Who in their right mind gets excited about putting clothes on that are going to make them look like a beached whale? I clearly don't get it - and will definitely have to work on getting comfortable with gaining weight. Not that I had a perfect body before but I was okay with it. I worked with a personal trainer when I first found out that I was pregnant. I wanted to understand what exercises were okay and what I should stay away from. I must confess that I'm sucking a lot more wind than I used to in my Zumba class and the stair-stepper machine really kicks my butt these days, but I'm trying really hard. Hopefully I can keep it up. I've gained 7 lbs so far. That's right, 7 lbs in 17 weeks. UGH! I want to smack those women who post that they've only gained 1 lb at 16 weeks. How??? What goes on the thighs must go off the thighs at some point. But I guess if you have to gain weight, it might as well be for a worthy cause.

Neither Cory nor I really cared about the gender of the baby. But we were both secretly hoping for a boy. And I've thought it was a boy from day one (don't ask me why, I haven't had any crazy dreams or anything). I think I have this "motherhood and apple pie" idea of having a boy as the first so he can look after his younger siblings. And of course, I think Cory's already been planning his first hunting expedition with his son. :-) We have no ideas for names. Really...nothing! I have lots of girl names picked out. This should be an interesting process.

And speaking of interesting processes, how on earth do people figure out what to buy for a baby???? Honestly, I feel like the biggest idiot. We have purchased a stroller so far, and that's only because a good friend pointed out a great sale online and after looking at Consumer Reports and reading all the reviews, we decided to go ahead and buy it. But I had to go into Babies 'R Us last week and figure out how to even USE a stroller. It really was "Stroller 101". For example, I have no idea how to snap the car seat into the stroller, how to adjust the straps, how to collapse the stroller, etc. And now we're on to decisions about cribs, pak 'n play ensembles, rocking chairs...and we haven't even reached the point where I can think about how to decorate the nursery. We are so crazy busy, and it's been easy to forget that I'm pregnant, that we have to remind ourselves that we need to get going on all of these decisions. The next 23 weeks are going to fly by!

I'm definitely excited about meeting Baby J but I hope he takes his time getting here. And most of all, we hope that he arrives safe and sound!